Are you compatible?

The last question is compatibility...These seven compatibility factors are what you should look for to see if this person is the right "fit" for you.



1)Personality: do you get along with this person or are you silenty irritated by how they act? Personality is the most important factor and the hardest one to change.



2)Communication: Is one of you indirect or direct? Does one of you do most of the talking? Is on of you the silent type? Think back yo your conversations and see if they flow or are enjoyable to you.



3)Friends and family: Do you get along with their friends and family or this a source of stress in the relationship?



4)Health and Nutrition: Are you a health food nut or a junk food junkie? Is the only excercise you get channel surfing? See if your health food lifestyles match or not.



5)Finacial: Are you stingy or careless with your money? Money is the thing couples fight over most often. If you deal with your money the same it will be very helpful in the long run.



6)Educational: People tend to feel more comfortable if they have similiar life experiences, profesional opportunities and world views.



7)Intimacy) Does one of you like PDA and the other doesnt? Does one of you like to hug and kiss in public and your date may think its completely wrong. Having a mismatched style may caue resentment causing a problem in the future.

Do you trust your partner?

In my previous post when I talked about the three questions you should ask yourself before getting married, one was do you trust your partner?

trust is very important in a relationship, it is one of the most important ingredients in building a intimate relationship with your partner. Some ways you can build trust is by always working on your communication skills, take responsibility to express your need, be positive and give pleasure,dont allow issues to get unresolved and fight fair.

If all these are done, you will have no problem trusting your partner. If their is no trust in a relationship you feel like your partner is trying to control you. Say you are wanting to get married and you ask yourself the three questions from my previous post and you come to the trust question and say well we can always work on that after we get married. Next thing you know you're married and that trust never got very strong.

This scenerio is a little exagerrated, but if that trust is never there and you or your partner go out to get some milk from a store down the street and they take long then they should, you most likely are going to be asking questions about where they were and why they took so long?

trust along with love is the bedrock to a relationship

lets talk..

In my previous post I talked about three questions you and your partner should ask yourself to see if you are ready for marriage...I want to talk more in depth about the communication part.

Communication is very vital in a relationship. If you can't talk and listen to each other , is the relationship going to go anywhere? No, because neither one of you will know how each other are feeling.

When talking to your partner you should not use "you-statements" which is whenever you are talking or arguing with your partner you point the finger at them and start every sentence with you. I-statements make everything go more smooothly. They are for example if you are fighting you could say "I feel like this when you do this" using I statements doesn't make the significant other want to get all defensive because you aren't blaming everything on them.

because you are in love do you get married?

You may have read my title to my blog and said well duh !why would'nt you get married if you were in love?

but the fact of the matter is today one of two marriages end in a divorce and as much as that breaks my heart to hear considering I want to be a wedding planner and the last thing I would want is for the couple to get divorced right after, but on the bright side more weddings for me to plan !

If there is no companionship in your relationship, there is no backbone and that marriage will not last long at all. when getting married to someone you need to ask yourself three simple, but yet complex questions...

1. are we compatible?

2. do we trust one another?

3. is there communication in this relationship?

The answers to these questions holds the outcome to whether or not your marriage will workout if you do get married. You need to have all three of these factors to have a long last marriage. These factors build a strong foundation. Its just like a house for example if the foundation is not very stable or dont even have a foundation at all to hold it up, its going to eventually collapse !

house built with no foundation

house built with foundation

what to do ?

Wedding can be very stressful to plan because their is so much to do and brides just feel like they have no time after they set the date of their wedding. Disagreements may come up between the families, the bride and groom , the bride and mother and so on because everyone has a different piont of view on things.

scenerio 1. reception

You and your friends all like a great party, but your mother thinks drinking is wrong and does not want alcohol at the wedding.This is an area where a compromise can be made. Your mom maybe less worried about people having a glass of champagne for the toast and more about the younger guests getting too rowdy, so you can agree to only having wine at the reception and then after the reception the newlyweds and thier friends can have another party afterwards.

scenerio 2. wedding dress

Your mom wants you to wear her traditional long sleeve wedding gown with her strand of pearls but you want to wear a trendy modern dress with crystal bridal jewlery. You want to feel beautiful on your wedding day so you should wear what you want to wear, but you also dont want to hurt your mom's feelings so you can agree to wear her pearl necklace with a mix of the jewlery you want to wear and you can wear a little jacket with your dress during the ceremony.

scenerio 3. Money

Budgeting is always hard to do when planning your wedding, after the dress, flowers, etc you spent over $1000 or more in a blink of an eye. If your parents are paying for your wedding which the brides parents are usually suapposed to or atleast help and the amount they want to spend does'nt see like nearly enough for what everything you wanted , you are going to have to budget your money so it does fit around that amount because you cant ask your parents to spend more money then what they want to. If you want to spend more money you might have to use money out of your own pocket.

These are just a couple of scenerios that involve conflicts when planning a wedding, the list could go on and on, but in the end after its all over and done with its all worth it!

love holiday

On saturday I was lucky enough to work a wedding! I get so excited when I get to be apart of work a wedding! It was Dr Hubbard's ( our last president of the school) daughter's wedding to be exact. She got married on the third floor of the boardroom. It was a very simple wedding her colors were a light pink and white because of Valentine's Day. The tables were set up with white clothes and pink napkins. She had about 75 guests. I watched the ceremony it was very short and to the point. Some people like it like that and their is'nt anything wrong with that either.

After the ceremony they had a toast then we served them a salad first, then their main dish which was this beef stuff rolled in bread with mushrooms , fish, and asparagus. Then dessert which was a velvet cake. I found out something I never knew which was that at weddings the typical slice each piece should be is 1inx1in ..THEY WERE SO TINY!

Another thing I noticed right away was that the bride did'nt even have a wedding dress on, she had like a ladies suit on I guess is what you would call it, it was a black skirt with a white jacket. It was elegant and I think it looked good on her. It went with the type of wedding it was. Also her finacee saw her the whole time before the ceremony,but like I have said before you can do your wedding however you want to because it is your day.

Usually what happens is the bride and groom cant see each other untill the bride is walking down the aisle and what I have heard is that the first time you see your finacee cry is when he sees you walking down the aisle, but that is something I have just heard.

BE A TRUE GENTLEMEN!

I have been noticing that I have been talking about brides a lot latley so I figured I would switch up and talk about the grooms!

Now boys the sweet gesture to do when you find that RIGHT girl is to ask their father for his daughter's hand in marriage.

Here is a a guideline leading up and asking your ladies hand in marriage without being so nervous you're sweating bullets!

1. Talk to your girlfriend first. Before you go and sit down and talk man-to-man with your potential father-in-law, make sure you and your girlfriend are on the same page as far as the whole marriage thing goes. Is she ready to commit? Does she even want to get married? If so, how soon does she want to get hitched? You don’t want to get your girlfriend’s father’s blessing to marry his daughter, just to have his daughter turn you down when you propose.

2. Try to meet him before you ask. If it’s possible, try to meet your girlfriend’s parents a few times before you decide you want to marry her. While my wife and I were dating, I had the opportunity to visit her parents on several occasions. I got to know them rather well before we got engaged. It made sitting down with her dad and discussing my wish to marry his daughter a bit easier because we had already established a relationship. Again, not all situations will allow this, but if you can, do it.

3. Sit down with him man-to-man. There are several ways you can go about this, and I think it all depends on what kind of man your girlfriend’s father is. Consider taking him out to dinner or going to a bar or coffee shop. Breaking bread with him might make the situation a bit more comfortable. If that’s not a possibility, during a visit just ask if you can speak to him in private. If her dad lives far away, try to time the conversation for a trip home which has already been planned, perhaps during the holidays. If this is not possible, it’s okay to conduct the talk over the phone.

4. Start out expressing your feelings for his daughter. I think the best way to start off the conversation is to express to the father your love and admiration for his daughter. Tell him how much she means to you. Mention some specific qualities that you love about her. He raised her, so you are really complimenting him at the same time.

5. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Now it’s time to cut to the chase. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Assure him that you understand the seriousness of the commitment and that being able to spend the rest of your life with his daughter would make you the happiest man in the world.

7. Promise him that you’ll take care of his daughter for the rest of her life. Put yourself in this man’s shoes. He’s been the man in her life since she was baby. He’s taken care of her since she was in diapers and only wants the best for her. He wants to know that he’s handing off his little girl to someone that will take just as good care of her as he has. Make the commitment that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter.

8. Respectfully ask for his blessing. Now, just request his blessing and support in you asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage.

If your girlfriend’s father has died, wasn’t around when she was growing up, or is simply a jerk that his daughter avoids contact with, ask the mother.

"happy" marriage

As I was searching through the New York Times to find this story about a gay couple and how they wanted to get married , I came upon a link about about gay marriages and then on that website I found another link that looked interesting and so on. I finally stumbled upon this site that was called gaymarriages.com I clicked and and was just looking around the site.

As I was looking through this site I saw they had a tab for planning and my whole reason I wanted to talk about gay marriage was not to say whether its right or wrong , but if they plan their weddings the same as a male- female wedding. I dont think that male-female marriages have a wedding planning book, but im not sure.

I found that same sex marriage have a book though and one of them is called The Essential Guide to Lesbian and Gay Marriages. You have to actually buy the book to see what it is all about, but you can press on it and it gives you an outline and the really the only difference in planning that it talked about that would be different to male-female wedding planning was "How to be gay in a straight world" ,"How to tell your family" , "Same Sex Marriage" "Dealing with Gay Business" and then all the rest of the chapters are about the normal guest list, invitations, catering, vows, etc.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1555834841?tag=gayweddings07-20&camp=14573&creative=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=1555834841&adid=0QEF436ZND4WXKBACJWD&#reader_1555834841

Abby & Laura

As I was searching through this site, some of my questions got answered about who would be the girl or the guy ? who will wear the engagement ring? etc. I read this story about Abby and Laura and people would ask Laura why she wears the ring and Laura said "Abby wears the ring because it looks so beautiful on her , and she wears it for the both of us."

Someone else asked who was the girl in the relationship and Abby replied, " We're both girls silly ! We're both bossy , which is why we made up our own rules for this wedding."

Both Abby and Laura will be wearing white wedding dresses and Abby said that Laura could wear sneakers.

So really it does not matter what you do, its up to you, it your preference just like it would be in a male-female wedding.

Imagine how it would feel to have your spouse PICKED out for you?!?!?!? I know I sure would'nt like it! I mean to marry someone I didnt want to be with would be just torture. In some countries such as Iran Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and India they arrange girls marriages and have to marry the men that the father picks out for them. In our country its love before marriage and you only need love to be happy, but in the countries I named above they feel as if arranged marriage will endure forever and love for the time being can just take the back seat.

for more arranged marriage facts you can go to this site --> http://www.professorshouse.com/family/relationships/arranged-marriage-facts.aspx

Bride Wars

One reason I chose this youtube video is because this movie is called bride wars and its where I got my title for my blog because I'm doing a modern vs tradition weddings. Also in a previous blog I talked about the borrowed, old, new and used tradtion and in this movie one part one of the girls mixes the other girls hair dye so her hair turns blue.

will you marry me?

Anytime I see that someone is engaged or married I ALWAYS almost ask how did he propose? I love hearing how creative the guy was.

The way my cousin got engaged was he brought her to his back yard and in his back yard he has a pond and had two fishing poles set up for each of them. He had the string pulled out and the hooks dangling down almost touching the water because when ever she went to pull her fishing pole up he had a sign on the hook that said will you marry me? I thought that was so adorable and creative of him.

Another fun way that I was done was my friend and his finacee were going to a fair and on the way up there he had his friends standing on the side of the road each one holding a sign up make the question will you marry me ?

This is a picture of some rides at the Ozark Empire Fair in Springfield, MO they were headed to right before he proposed

I was talking to my friend who recently got engaged on Christmas and she said the way he did it was he had a huge box and then had another box in side that box and so on untill it came down to the ring box and when she opened it he asked her! AWWW!!


I think all of these ideas are pretty modern because its the way the guy wants to do it. I think the traditional way would be at a restaurant during dinner, I dont think there is anything wrong with that way, but it is what is most commonly done.